Forever Young

This year I will be 33. I remember when I turned 30, it was a year full of reflection and introspection. That year was pivotal for me, as it is for so many others as well, in that I realized God was calling me to a new phase in life. One of the questions I asked God at the time was whether or not I was supposed to be doing this all along and had I missed a turn somewhere in life only to be redirected this way ten years later. His answer was twofold. Yes, this had been His plan for me all along. And no, I was to be doing this in His timing. That timing was not ten years ago nor would it be ten years from now. His timing was now. I thought that was odd as I’ve always been under the impression that a person’s ministry is something they’re called to in High School or College and then you plan your career accordingly. I never expected to actually be doing something in the area of ministry because my career started off differently and took me different places in life. Six years in the Air Force, followed by several years working for government contractors and I just assumed I would be doing that my entire life and that was God’s only plan for me.

As I came to an understanding of what I was to be doing, at least in the present, I encountered some confusion about God’s timing. You see, I qualify as part of a group known as “the emerging generation”. This group consists of adults ages 25-35. Everywhere I turn I see this term and the excitement that surrounds these people as they are poured into and molded into leaders and disciples. Where the confusion came was in the recognition of how long it would take for God to bring about what He was doing in me. What I saw Him doing in and through me would take several years to bring to fruition. I began to question God. “God, are you sure about this? Can you work any faster? I’m going to miss my window.” Wait… what? What window? Did I just tell God that I was unusable for His purposes outside of some worldly definition wrapped up in this term “emerging”?

Where on earth would I get such a ridiculous notion? That really began to irk me as I realized I had been thinking in immature terms as being part of some elite clique or sorority. How’s that for maturing and growing up? But I did succeed in tracking down my destructive train of thought. These thoughts had all flooded in when I faced the reality of turning 33 this year and in an almost panicked urgency felt the need to point out to God that He only had 2 years left to get me where He wanted me. Yikes! How foolish. But I do not think I am alone. There is a particular anticipation that accompanies the approach of an individuals 30’s. And rightly so. It is at this age that certain mental and physiological changes take place that bring a person into the fullness of adulthood. I believe this is the reason God always called people into positions of active ministry at the age of 30. Physically our brains are mature enough to take on the challenge. Sure we can receive a calling or anointing early on in life but the 30’s seemed to be the age of plans put into action. In fact, Jesus was also 30 when he “emerged” and visibly began his outreach and ministry. He was 33 when he died. But that was not the end of his life… nor was it technically the beginning. The Word of the ages who was with God in the beginning may have been physically 33 but it was just an age. The physical death and aging that permeates this world could not hold him and force him to do its bidding. While he may appear to be 33 yet to this day… he is older than all. Is this not the same Christ that lives in me and brings my spirit to life? It stands to reason then that the age of my spirit were one to see it in a physical sense would be 33. When I am 80, the spirit of Christ that is in me will still look 33. What then was I so worried about? Here is where the problem entered.

A few years ago a friend told me about a conference most of her younger ministry friends were invited to. When I asked her if she would be attending she told me that sadly she and her husband were not invited because they were over the 35 yr old age limit. I was shocked. Here they were at the same place in ministry as others, being cultivated and mentored for leadership but because they had initially followed other career paths, they were at a different stage physically than their peers. Yet the overall message was clear, “Sorry, you are too old to be in our clique.” And so a few years later I find myself trapped in the same box only this one I locked myself into. What I had failed to realize is that there are phases in every persons walk with God and as we prepare to enter each new stage we must “emerge” from the old. “Emerging” is about new beginnings.

Over the last two years I have watched my parents go from thinking they would retire soon to becoming reactivated as missionaries. The transformation was more than just employers. There was an actual physical impact I saw in and through them. The realization that God was not finished with them had a distinct rejuvenating effect on them. At one point I looked at my mother when she laughed and saw decades melt away. She was once again 30 something, filled with anticipation and hope as she prepared to transition to life in Brazil. I learned something new that day about what it meant to be “emerging”. I watched my mother “emerge” from a shell of resigned ending to a life of new beginnings. My mother and father, now in their 60’s were the definition of “emerging leaders”.

This year I have also watched my sister and brother-in-law, after 20+ years of service to their country as Navy Chaplains approach a new phase in life as they prepare to become civilians and begin pastoring. I saw the transformation happen in them as well. They went from a mental state of military retirement to one of new beginnings. I watched them “emerge” from their past careers into the dawning of a new day and new career.

And so today as I sit here and write, I am rejuvenated and encouraged as I realize that whatever age or phase of life you are in, it is always God’s plan that just around the corner is a brand new opportunity for you to “emerge”. My tasks right now may consist of caring for my house and feeding my children but the day will come when I will “emerge” to care for His house and feed His children. To confine the term of “emerging leaders” to a physical age group is just plain immature and elitist. Feel free to gore me for my views but if it is the task of the elderly to pour into the young then perhaps we should be asking in what manner we can reciprocate. I encourage you today, if you feel that you are past the age of usefulness to God and to His people, then snap out of it! You are destined to emerge! It is the nature of Christ and it is now your nature. God calls to us, “Come out, my people”. Emerge, live, and help others to live.

Why Forgive?

2 Cor 2:7 “…you ought rather to forgive and comfort him lest perhaps such a one be swallowed up with too much sorrow. Therefore I urge you to reaffirm your love to him.”

I have been thinking a lot over the last year about the concept of forgiveness. The more I thought on it and compared my understanding against scripture the more I realized I was not properly grasping the motivation and intent behind forgiveness. I had always assumed that forgiveness on my part was for myself; that I had to forgive so that I would feel better and be able to move past the offense. While this may be a byproduct of forgiveness it is not the proper intent behind the act of forgiveness. I would never say that God forgives me so that He can feel better about His situation and move on. Why does God forgive me and shouldn’t his reasons for forgiving also be my reasons for forgiving? We are told in Matthew that God’s forgiveness to us is proportional in some degree to our forgiveness of others. And so I must assume from that, that my forgiveness should bear similarities to the forgiveness of God. Why then does God forgive?

God forgives, not for Himself but so that I may be freed of my debt. I am never under the impression that I do not owe God the debt of my very life for what sin I have committed and that even that payment is not sufficient. But God does not hold that over my head. I do not deserve forgiveness and yet He gives it so that I can be free from the consequences of death. If God did not offer forgiveness through the shed blood of His Son, Jesus Christ then I would be trapped in a state of sin and guilt. And so God’s intent in forgiveness is to free me, whether I ever come to realize it or not.

I was plagued recently with the idea that perhaps forgiveness was not necessary on my part if the offending party did not know they had wronged me or would even admit to it. It sounded good to me and offered a level of comfort and justice. But as I analyzed God’s forgiveness I could not reconcile my thought with His actions. Whether or not a person chooses to accept God’s forgiveness does not change the fact that He has given it. God has given it in the hope that someday I will recognize my pathetic state and accept His offer to cancel my debt. So how does that impact my decision to forgive? I must forgive no matter what. It does not hinge on the acknowledgement of the offending party…at least for my part. Nor should I forgive out of some sense of self righteousness – “I forgave you, therefore I am the better person.” What kind of gross nonsense is that anyway?

Forgiveness is then for the benefit of others first and that should always be my motivation. If God forgives for the benefit of mankind and not His own then my motivation should be out of a greater love for my fellow man. Do I truly love others enough to set them free through the act of my forgiveness? Or do I begrudge them that freedom in hopes of elevating myself and enslaving them in a prison of guilt? At the end of all this there is indeed a benefit to myself but it should not be my primary motivation. The benefit to myself is a truly genuine and sincere relationship with others, free from the condemnation of sin and guilt... which by the way is exactly the same benefit God receives through the act of forgiveness to me. His primary objective however has always been His love for me and desire for my freedom. Out of that offering of forgiveness and my freedom, I am then able to enjoy a truly sincere relationship with my Creator.

We must then ask ourselves why are we forgiving or not forgiving others? Is our motivation self serving? “I am now the better person.” Or is it focused on the freedom of others? “Through my actions I will make him a better person”. I think this has been the hardest question for me this year as it has forced me to examine my heart and motives. Do I forgive so that others will look at me and think how great or merciful I am or do I forgive to free others? May we be true instruments of Christ; aiding in the setting free of our fellow man that we may not prolong his sorrow and that through the act of forgiveness we may enter into genuine relationships with one another.

The Straw That Broke The Tiger's Back

When I initially began to draft up this blog I was rather irate. I have since calmed down and modified/toned down my upset a bit. But the governing issue remains the same: The status and treatment of women in this world greatly saddens me.

What angered me at first was the fact that Tiger Woods was issuing an apology to the public that consisted of a five page letter expressing apparent remorse. The first thought that came to mind was, “Did he bother to offer the same courtesy to his wife?” I do not know the answer to that question but something made me doubt it. During the course of the apology I was expecting to hear him not only apologize to the public but also to his wife AND the women he hurt throughout this entire ordeal. I assume most people do not have compassion for the “other” women but I do feel sadness for them. Regardless of the lifestyles that they lead, they are also victims of a society that even to this day places the majority of affirmation for women on their sexuality and little else. We find ourselves victim to this mentality and then aid in perpetuating the mistreatment of women in this manner because we cannot find validity by any other means. That saddens me.

Tiger did not wrong the public. He wronged first off, God. He wronged his wife. He wronged the other women. And he wronged himself. We did not need his remorse… they did. The element that incited most of my animosity was the reason Tiger gave for having strayed. He said it was due to his lack of devotion to his religion – Buddhism. I thought long and hard about that and have come to a conclusion that I am still processing in its entirety. The conclusion is this: you can tell a lot about a religion based on its underlying respect and treatment of women. So let’s have a look, shall we, at the treatment of women across the lines of religiosity.

The sex trade running rampant throughout the world is contributed to mostly by countries that pride themselves in Buddhist principles. Young girls and women of all ages are exploited and treated as objects to be used, abused, and discarded.
In countries that cling to the Hindu faith women are placed at the bottom of a caste system and treated as slaves and personal property.

In countries that are predominantly Islamic, women are treated worse than property and are allowed to be raped or killed by men who are displeased with them without consequences.

In countries that are Catholic, family is highly valued at the appearance level but women are instruments of status and pleasure. Men have their wives to give them the much coveted image of a family well in order but they keep their mistresses on the side as instruments of use and pleasure.

In mainstream evangelical Christianity women are treated slightly better but given no equality or voice. And while the practice of taking a mistress is not condoned at times the wife is treated as nothing but a means to sexual gratification which in all actuality makes us no better than a prostitute.

In many denominations of Christianity that have accepted, at least in appearance, the equality of women go too far in stripping the essential elements of femininity from women and transform them into an oddly deformed replica of masculinity. I believe the mentality is somewhere along the lines that gender must be erased to experience true equality.

In the United States where we pride ourselves on freedom of expression in areas of religion, our freedom of expression in our sexuality runs rampant. When I analyze these patterns I ask myself… does our treatment of women reflect on some level our view of spirituality? It would for all appearances sake seem so. If this is true then it would stand to reason that the true value of women as genuinely expressed by Christ, were it to truly be grasped and exemplified in its fullness would be earth shattering to our faith, expression and grasp of the Church and her true image as seen by God.

I have been accused of many things, one of them being a feminist. I say this honestly when I tell you I do not ever wish to rule over man… I wish to stand by his side and rule with him as God intended in the beginning without having to erase or hide my femininity in the process. But until the world’s objectification of women ceases, this will never transition from fantasy into reality. I love my fellow woman dearly. But I also love my fellow man dearly and I wish he could see me with the wonderment that exists in God’s perspective – not as a means to an end or merely an object or instrument of pleasure but as a beautiful reflection of the image of God. The transformation however, must begin with women. If we cannot respect ourselves and see ourselves as God sees us then men definitely never will. They say that a chain is only as strong as its weakest link. Let us then focus on the strengthening of each other instead of the weakening that characterizes and plagues our past. The monstrosity of objectification in its weakening of women inadvertently weakens men and the entirety of humanity.

All of this to say the following to Mr. Woods: I'm afraid that a return to your faith of Buddhism will not improve your view of women or your treatment of them... but God can. Of course Mr. Woods will probably never read this so what I have to say instead to my readers is this: Do you view femininity as a genuine reflection of part of the character of God? Is a negative view of women/femininity affecting your faith and relationship with God? What if we are missing something exquisitely beautiful and glorious about Him because of a dysfunction in our view of ourselves?