Life in Bloom

My Sunflowers

Pear from my pear tree

The Pear Tree

The Peach Tree

Peach from my peach tree

My Basil Plant

Update On Me

Yikes! It's been way too long since I updated my blog. I've been through a LOT the last two weeks and have not been all that comfortable sitting at the computer and so therefore have not been updating.

Two weeks ago I started experiencing and immense amount of abdominal pain. I wasn't sure what the cause was but the pain was so intense it was causing vomiting and other unpleasantnesses. Finally after ignoring what I thought was some sort of flu bug for 12 hours I decided it was time to go to the hospital. My main concern was for the fetus I found out I was carrying the week prior. Obviously when your body decides it does not want to hold on to fluids it is never a healthy atmosphere for a growing child.

After an MRI and an ultrasound the doctors discovered there was a large mass in my abdomen that was not supposed to be there. They decided to go in after it. They labeled the surgery "exploratory" which was greatly unnerving to me. I didn't like the idea that they were going to put me to sleep and go in to do only God knows what to my innards. But what can you do? The looming fear was something cancerous growing and obviously I would want that removed. My greatest fear was that they would end up somehow needing to remove portions of my reproductive system. And so my greatest prayer was that it would not come to that.

Two days later, post-op, I found out it had been an uncharacteristically large cyst that had ruptured in one of my ovaries. They opened up the ovary, cleaned out the mess, and sowed me back up. (I am hoping they did a better job sowing up the inside than they did on the outside. One look at my staples made me think they had brought in their kindergarten kids and were teaching them how to operate a stapler.) But alas, I am alive and well and am not missing any reproductive parts. I did however lose the pregnancy which was of course disappointing. The most disappointing portion of that being that since I did in fact have my abdomen sliced open I will need to wait for complete healing before trying to get pregnant again - 3-4 months.

But God has been with me through the entire process and has been teaching me many things through the whole ordeal. Being as I am writing a book on femininity this was an immense eye opener to me as I watched my physical femininity flash before my eyes. Bearing life is an enormous part of what it means to be physically feminine and I faced the grief associated with not being able to perform that function any longer and not being able to bring forth life in the physical realm. God has been speaking to me a lot lately about the need to continuously bring forth life in whatever realm you can operate. Spiritually I should be longing to bear fruit. Mentally I should be hungering to bring life to new thoughts. More to come on that, but I am processing many new thoughts and hopefully they too will come to life some day.

Masculinity of the Mind

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart (lebab), and with all your soul (nephesh), and with all your strength." - Deut 6:5.

Lebab: m. mind
Nephesh: f. soul

As most of you know, I am writing a book on femininity and the reflection of that femininity in the image of God. But this has of course spurred curiosity on my part into the masculinity of God and that reflection in man. One of the areas where we recognize masculinity in all mankind is the mind.

This threw me for a loop because there seems to be a somewhat slight sense of disdain for this concept on the part of women because they think that what is actually being said is that the mind being masculine means it has nothing to do with their femininity. Well... I wish to absolve that fear in saying this is absolutely not true. In the same way that men have a feminine side, women have a masculine side. This is internal not external meaning that within my being I can be completely abundant in Christ. My external existence is of course only feminine meaning that this feminine role of my body obviously cannot reproduce on its own. I must have the involvement of the masculine to be externally abundant (children.) But internally I reflect both the masculinity and femininity of God.

Now why exactly do we attribute masculinity to the mind and femininity to the soul? It is the role of the mind that mimics what we know of physical masculinity that creates this definition for us. The thoughts of the mind transcend the barriers of time, meaning that they can travel from the past, flow through the present and continue on into the future. They are not confined to the present. These thoughts of the mind mimic the offspring of man - his seed. The seed of man travels on in his body constantly generating anew and when resulting in fertility, carries on the name of his forefathers and bears resemblance in their future existence as his offspring. The physical functioning of masculinity in its potency can be seen reflected in the mind of an individual.

Why is the soul feminine? The soul and emotions can only be expressed in the present. What we know of femininity in the physical realm is that its power is in its presence. A woman forever carries her seed within her from the time of birth. Her fertility is existent in her and departs only when it has not resulted in offspring. When a woman procreates, she continues on housing the child in the present, even though the masculinity of the process has concluded. When the child is born the feminine again functions in the present to meet the immediate needs of a child. Her body is designed to meet the needs of the present. Man's body is not. What we know of the soul and emotions is that they can only be experienced in the present. You can think on past emotions and stir up those feelings anew but it was the thought that transcended time and brought the emotion to you. Emotions can only function in the present.

So what can we learn about the inter workings of the mind and soul? Thoughts without expression are impotent. Emotions without the penetration of the mind are chaotic. They cannot function independent of each in yielding purpose; but together they soar.

Most people do not have a problem with understanding femininity or why emotions and the soul are associated with her. But masculinity seems to be a touchy subject. May I remind you though... that if you are a woman who is easily angered by this concept but you have not bothered to think it through then you are not helping to support your position of femininity and emotion vs masculinity and mind.

Does God refer to the masculinity of the mind? He does indeed.

" The Lord your God will circumcise your hearts (lebab) and the hearts (lebab) of your descendants, so that you may love him with all your heart (lebab) and with all your soul (nephesh), and live." - Deut. 30:6

We do not circumcise femininity. Femininity is however penetrated and we learn much in the New Testament about the penetration of the soul (Heb. 4:12) and the circumcision of our minds. To circumcise femininity is to strip her functioning and pleasure from her being. This is never required by God. Femininity is meant to be expressed uninhibited but functions in the covering and protection of masculinity. If you would like to inhibit your femininity as it was created in the image of God, then by all means... circumcise yourself. As for me, I vote to start exercising the masculinity of my mind and the femininity of my soul and to truly LIVE!!!

An Open Door With the Children

Last winter our small church group "The Gathering" was awakened to the fact that less than 1/4 mile down the road from our very church, a public elementary school sat in need. Upon closer investigation we learned just how dire that need really was. Over 30% of the students in that school came from families that were in financial crisis and at times did not even have enough food for breakfast or dinner. Something moved in our hearts at hearing those statistics and a fire was lit to do something about this. We are a church longing to be "missional" and reach out to the world with God's message of salvation. What happens all too often is that we desire to see great and wondrous works that are far removed from our own backyard. Why this is, I am not sure. And so our small group of 20 began to conduct food drives for this elementary school.

The first day we showed up bearing gifts the staff was in tears at the generosity we demonstrated. The true extent of the need was seen as the pantry was shortly emptied of all we had provided. And so this became a regular event. We appealed to the hearts of our sister churches and the need was met time and time again. Later on in the school year we organized a luncheon to show the teachers how appreciative we were of their service to our children. I have never seen so much laughter and happiness and all we did was set up a nacho bar in the midst of their busy day. But it was enough.

This summer we have focused on collecting school supplies to offer to the elementary school as they begin their new school year. What I have noticed is that the hearts of people in the church are dying to give. But we always present them with such overwhelmingly large tasks to give to. We disguise it in magnificence for the Kingdom of God. But I tell you the truth, I have seen more heart felt greatness and magnificence this last year in our very own backyard than I ever saw in my 12 years on the mission field. You don't have to think big to do big things. All you have to do is meet the needs closest to home and that makes you a true missionary at heart.

It reminds we of the story in the Bible of the elderly widow - Luke 21: 1-4. What she gave was minute compared to the large gifts given by the rich. But Jesus looked at her gift and said, "I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put in more than all the others". We can dream of giving greatly to impact places on the other side of the world, but can you impact your immediate neighborhood? I encourage whoever happens to roll through my blog and read this to begin to search out opportunities within your church and within your neighborhood to bring Christ to them through meeting needs. You may think that the effort is too small but no effort is too small in the Kingdom of God. It is enough.

Wall-e

Today I went to see Wall-e with my 5 yr old. It was cuter than cute. I highly recommend it! There were also some extremely deep and profound messages in the movie. I don't want to spoil it for anyone so I will refrain from posting in the main body what I thought. If you get a chance to see it, feel free to relay your thoughts on what touched you in the movie.

Back from CA

I am back from California. Major jet lagged today but still surviving. I flew out for my mom's 60th birthday party. Since it was a surprise I couldn't really post on it... my mother reads my blog. So for those wondering why I haven't posted in over a week, that would be why.

It was a great surprise. She had no idea my little sister and I were flying out. We had to hide out a day until the party but due to a well organized and executed mission all went as planned and the covert operation went off without a hitch. My parents live in the middle of the desert in Indio, CA. Talk about hot!! The second day we were there the thermometer read 118 degrees... you've got to be kidding me! Everyone kept commenting about how dry the heat was. Coming from Colorado where it is so dry your knuckles crack when you flex I couldn't quite identify with the CA heat being dry. I would walk outside and immediately begin to sweat. Dry? I think not. I think the moisture may have been due to the incredible number of golf courses in the area. I wouldn't be surprised if there was a perpetual mist hanging over the valley from the amount of water it takes to keep all those greens so lush. Nothing against the Coachella valley but if we rationed the amount of water they were allowed to use on those lawns we may find the solution to world wide drought.

One morning I went out for a walk in the development we were staying in and noticed one person's lawn was rather dry and brittle. There was a notice on the door concerning their failure to comply with HoA standards of appearance. What if they were trying to be environmentally aware and conserve water??!! Forget it! Your HoA says you must use water! Do it!!! Ok, I'm done ranting... but they are living in the desert... perhaps coming to grips with that and not pretending it is a lush desert oasis may help out a bit. There is probably a legitimate desert oasis in Palm Springs but it's only about a mile circumference and yet the surrounding 30 miles is attempting to create the mirage of desert fauna as well. Oops... I was supposed to be done ranting.

I got to eat authentic Mexican food again - heavenly. I was able to observe CA night life again... oh boy do I sure NOT miss that. (Note to women everywhere: if you exceed the weight limit for a car booster seat you are not allowed to wear Hollywood apparel. Those clothes are only designed for women who have not come to grips with their womanly figure yet. And when it comes to boob exposure... more is not better. Women wonder why men stare at their chests and not at their faces when they talk... they will look at what you give them, duh!)

Well, it was fantastic seeing my family again. I had not seen my brother and sister in about 3 years and missed them terribly. It had only been six months since I saw my mother but due to the nature of the book I am writing about femininity I missed my mother terribly too. I wish we lived closer so I could just pick her brain for information without the huge cell phone bill we incur. I am now back home safe and sound and need to spend some much needed time with my own daughter. Time flies so fast and sooner than I know it she'll be trying to sneak out in skimpy clothes and my time for instilling morals in her will be gone. I'll post pictures of the trip soon. My little sister took all the pictures and so I'm waiting on her to get those downloaded.

Traffic Stopper!

Well, it appears that my life long aspiration to be a traffic stopper has finally come true. It was a smash success... even caused an accident. Ok... maybe it wasn't all that glamorous. I was walking this morning... and I came to the crosswalk. I stood there for a few seconds debating whether or not to push the walk signal or just pick my way across 6 lanes of traffic. I decided to be a law abiding citizen and hit the walk button instead. And so I'm standing there waiting for the signal to walk and lo and behold it is finally my turn to cross. As the walk signal flickers to give me the go ahead the first renegade car goes speeding through the red light...wonderful. Too bad he was going too fast to get a license plate number. Oh well.. I see all the cars stopped now and so I continue on with my trek across the street. Right as I get about halfway across the first 3 lanes I hear what every pedestrian fears to hear... screeching tires. I look to my left and notice all the cars still at a stop so it doesn't register right away what's going on... and then I see it. Coming up behind my first line of defense to the rest of traffic is this little pickup truck who obviously feels he is impervious to red lights and the car sitting in front of him as well. He smashes right into the car which of course propels her straight towards me. But the most shocking element of all was that I was unaware I could move that fast. I hopped off the street onto the opposite curb as the drama unfolded. After ensuring that no one wanted my information or number (which I was absolutely sure someone would want...after all... I stopped traffic!) I continued on with my walk. And so now, I can honestly say (because of course I did in fact push the little "walk" button) that I stopped traffic and caused an accident. I can now check that off of my "bucket" list.

Busy Little Bee Indeed...

Here's my update post to say that I'm busy busy this week. I was wrapping up another chapter for my book on Ms. Folly. I have to prepare a teaching on "teaching" for this coming Sunday so that's got me tied up too. And to top it all off my parents get into town tomorrow and I haven't dusted their room yet!! So I gotta go but I will post on something of some sort of relevance soon... I promise!

Love,
Debbie

Random...

Mustard Seed Plant

My Sunflowers

My Guitar Hero!

Bright-eyed, Bushy-haired Baby

Backyard Visitor

Mountain View from the Backyard (pretend the power lines aren't there... that's what I do.)

Her Name Is 'Folly'

In countless women's bible studies, we are constantly directed to Proverbs 31 in order to gain definition for our femininity in this chapter pertaining to the noble wife. In the opening verses of this chapter the noble wife is compared to the attribute wisdom. Throughout Proverbs wisdom is characterized as feminine and is indeed a feminine noun in the Hebrew language - "Chokmah".

I decided that if wisdom contained the characteristics of true and rightful femininity as we are led to believe then it would stand to reason that the evil associated with wisdom, folly, would entail the "false feminine". The Hebrew word for folly is also a feminine noun - "Ivveleth". And so I spent the better portion of yesterday pulling out the various reflections of folly from the pages of Proverbs. The list is rather extensive but I think it will provide some clarification for where we may be deceived into seeing these characteristics as encompassing godly femininity when they do not.

And so, here is my compiled list of the "false feminine":
despises wisdom and discipline, delights in mockery, hates knowledge, does not fear the Lord, scheming, wayward, complacent, perverse mouth, seductive words, leaves the partner of her youth, resents rebuke and instruction, inherits shame, bitter, cruel, lazy, stirs up dissension, haughty (self-exalting) eyes, lying tongue, sheds innocent blood, preys upon men, incites jealousy, loud and defiant, proud and arrogant, brings grief to mother, violent, lacks judgment, leads others astray, finds pleasure in evil conduct, hopeless and depressed, duplicitous, destroys and tears down with words, gossips, attracts trouble, lacks discretion, deceitful, chases fantasies, easily annoyed, anxious, wasteful (squanders money), quarrelsome, spares the rod, tears down her house, quick tempered, hotheaded, reckless, simpleminded, gives birth to folly, oppresses, contemptuous, disgraceful, incurs wrath, spurns father, despises mother, no pleasure in knowledge and yet airs opinions freely, answers before listening, robs father and drives out mother, betrays confidence, craves to take, servant to lender (in debt), immature, praises herself, disregards laws, eager to get rich, lives in fear, gives full vent to anger.

And after all this the tell all sign of true folly is she turns on her character and says, "I've done nothing wrong." I don't know about you but I saw a whole lot of characteristics in there that I have believed in and that the world tells us embodies the empowered feminine of today.

I will be working on acquiring more characteristics throughout other books in the bible but I was just astounded with the extensive list I accumulated from Proverbs alone. These characteristics are evidence of the false feminine - the harlot - in our midst. The world tells us to aspire to be this woman. We lift her up on our shoulders and strive to be like her. But it is a lie. This is not true femininity.

The False Feminine

Well... my book research has taken me to a new study. I am exploring what it means to be falsely feminine. Our society tells us many things about what does or does not make us feminine but all those things aren't necessarily true. Since the majority of perusers through my blog are women, I am asking you (men feel free to comment here too please) what it means to be falsely feminine. What lies have we believed in, that actually tear down women's character and nature instead of lifting it up? Where in your own personal life have you been deceived into thinking this? Feel free to pass the blog along to any friends, I'd like to have as much input as possible on this topic. And if you hesitate to share because you do not want to admit the deception you have succumbed to, trust me... you are not alone. There are many lies that I have believed would fulfill me as a woman that have only succeeded in causing pain, sorrow, and grief in my life. As I stand on the other side of my experiences looking back on them, I cannot comprehend how the deception so easily sunk into who I was... but it did. I thank God immensely for striving so hard to bring me out of it; not only for my own sake, but also for the sake of my daughter. I want her to be able to grow up with a proper image of what it means to be feminine and not buy into what the world is trying to convince us is feminine. So without further ado... I ask of you: What does the "false feminine" mean to you?

Not Negligence

I thought I should make a quick post and just let everyone know that I am not intending to neglect my blog. I have a massive reading list to get through and I have been trying to make headway into it. I will have plenty to write about afterwards though. Here is a brief summary of the books I am currently reading through. I'll update them as a finish.

The Practice of the Presence of God - finished.

The Messianic Matrix - finished.

Surprised by Joy - Finished

The Abolition of Man

The Weight of Glory - In Progress...

And so as you can see... I'm a bit tied up at the moment but will be right back on top of things as soon as I'm through this stack.

Mustard Seed

A few months ago Naomi brought a small pot home from Sunday School. They had all planted seeds that day and we were going to try and make something grow. So Naomi and I were faithful in watering and providing sunshine to her little potted plant. Two weeks later the plant emerged from its covering of soil and began to reach up to the world around it. Soon the plant was too large for the small cup it had initially been planted in so we moved it outside. Immediately after transplanting we were bombarded with the last snows of spring. I thought for sure our little plant was lost. But as the weather warmed the plant began to darken in tone into a luscious green. It was a beautiful plant but I had absolutely no idea what it was. I hunted down the Sunday School teachers to try and find out what the kids had planted and found out they were mustard seeds. This last Sunday when I looked outside I saw a small yellow flowering head. And so here are a few pictures of Naomi's mustard seed plant.




I hear these plants are supposed to get pretty big. It already looks huge to me compared to the tiny seed we started with. It brings a whole new light to the phrase "faith as a mustard seed". When we exercise faith that small and allow the seeds to be planted we have the potential to turn into a full, blooming and lusciously green plant just like this one.

Entering God's Rest

“Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord from the heavens; praise him in the heights above. Praise him, all his angels; praise him, all his heavenly hosts. Praise him, sun and moon; praise him, all you shining stars. Praise him, you highest heavens and you waters above the skies. Let them praise the name of the Lord, for he commanded and they were created. He set them in place for ever and ever; he gave a decree that will never pass away. Praise the Lord from the earth, you great sea creatures and all ocean depths, lightning and hail, snow and clouds, stormy winds that do his bidding, you mountains and all hills, fruit trees and all cedars, wild animals and all cattle, small creatures and flying birds, kings of the earth and all nations, you princes and all rulers on earth, young men and maidens, old men and children. Let them praise the name of the Lord, for his name alone is exalted; his splendor is above the earth and the heavens. He raised up for his people a horn, the praise of all his saints, of Israel, the people close to his heart.” (Ps. 148:1-14)

In the story of creation we see God resting on the seventh day. He then consecrates the seventh day and considers it holy. What exactly does it mean for God to rest? In the biblical definition of rest it is defined as “to desist from labor”. Any other definitions of rest entail a cessation of existence or qualities of destruction. Since on this seventh day we see no cases of ceased existence or destruction we can safely assume that God was merely ceasing labor. What does that mean for God? He does not cease to exist. He does not change form. Did He stop giving and position himself in a state of reception? When we think of paradise and rest much of the time we envision ourselves being ministered to. In movies or books you always see men’s fantasies involving a “harem” type of administration to their needs and this is how a lot of men picture rest. So does God resting mean that he puts himself in a state of openness to the ministering of gifts? And what exactly are the types of gifts God likes to receive? What pleases God? Praise, thanks, tithing, devotion and love are all attributes of giving to God which man is capable of and which the Holy Spirit prompts in us. Hebrews chapter 4 mentions the rest of God in great detail.

In Hebrews 4:7, Paul quotes a saying of David which when put into parallel with the eternal rest that God offers tells us not to “harden your hearts”. So hardening our hearts and not remaining open to God is a type of inhibitor to entering into His rest. We can only enter God’s rest when we remain open to Him and allow ourselves to be ministered to. Now as far as the Sabbath goes, today we have made it a day of praising, thanking, and giving to God. The Sabbath is a day where God has commanded us to cease from working and to allow ourselves to be completely open to his ministering. When we come before God, his Spirit indwells us encouraging and allowing us to become open in His presence. God made it a point to designate a day where we would be required to assume a position of openness to him so that he could minister to our spirit. One might say that we should be in a state of openness at all times; that is eternal rest and that is exactly where God wants us to be.

The term “harden your hearts” is in reference to the children of Israel who were led out of Egypt. They were freed from slavery just as we are freed from the slavery of sin by our deliverer, Jesus. But the children of Israel refused to believe that God could provide them with true freedom and they rebelled against him. It was in this instance that God declared they would not enter into rest. In this sense he meant that they would not experience the peace of settling down and they would have confusion and wandering. The same can be said of us as Christians. We may receive Christ and be freed from slavery but unless we believe, “combine it with faith”, that God has truly freed us from all the power of sin we cannot truly enter into his rest and peace either. If we continue to believe in the lies of Satan that we are not worthy in spite of our worth given through Christ then we can never truly open ourselves up to God for the healing and freedom he has to offer us.

When God rests, it is not an act on his part to cease being or cease acting; it is his positioning of himself into a place of openness to receive our praise, worship and ministering through the Holy Spirit. The Father enters into the rest provided by the Holy Spirit. When God was finished creating the world, he entered into the rest of the Holy Spirit as He was ministered to by the worship from His creation.

God’s rest is simply taking in the exaltation of His entire creation which is accomplished by the surrounding, encompassing and ministering nature of the Holy Spirit. And we should also enter into that rest by our exaltation alongside the rest of creation of the One True God – it is through our praise that we are allowed to partake in God’s rest. The only way we can properly praise God is through the guidance of the Holy Spirit. God is still fulfilled within Himself, yet He chooses to include us in the interaction between Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. We are privileged to partake in His divine nature.

Hope And The Future

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Growing up never more than an hour away from the coast, I thought I would never be at home anywhere but by the sea. Well that has changed as I have grown. The most comforting and beautiful place I have ever lived is at the foot of the great Colorado Rocky Mountains. Every day (that I make it outside) I look up at those mountains and I praise God for his beautiful creation and the wonder of his creativity in all things.

This last week has been a hard week for me. I literally accomplished nothing yesterday because I was so depressed. As some of you know we are a military family and so are subject to the whims of assignments. I found out yesterday that I only have a year and a half left in Colorado and then we must move on to another assignment. Where? We're not sure yet... but the prospect of leaving this place has thrown me into utter turmoil.

Whenever I get in one of these moods I always think of that scene in Anne of Green Gables where Anne is in utter despair after learning her adoption was a mistake and she says to Marilla, "Can't you even image you're in the depths of despair?" Marilla turns to Anne and says, "No, I cannot. To despair is to turn your back on God." And so... I am doing my best to not despair.

I know that God cares for me and He will watch over me, providing new opportunities to grow in Him wherever I may be but it is hard to see past the immediate hurt to the comfort of His arms as He awaits, coaxing me forward into the future. I will probably be just fine in a week but having only 24 hours so far to process the information... well... I'm still processing. So if you're wondering why I haven't posted much this week... that's why.

But I am holding on to the promise of Jeremiah 29:11, that no matter where we go, God has plans to prosper us and not to harm us, plans to give us hope and a future.

Last Day of Pre-K

Well, today was the last day of Pre-K for Naomi and now our wondrous summer vacation begins. Here's a snapshot of Naomi waiting for the festivities to begin.


There was a cute little ceremony for all the kids to receive their certificates of graduation.



And here's a shot of the entire class.

The Oversoul

"When you are feeling fit and the sun is shining and you do not want to believe that the whole universe is a mere mechanical dance of atoms, it is nice to be able to think of this great mysterious Force rolling on through the centuries and carrying you in its crest. If, on the other hand, you want to do something shabby, the Life-Force, being only a blind force, with no morals and no mind, will never interfere with you like that troublesome God we learned about when we were children. The Life-Force is a sort of tame God. You can switch it on when you want, but it will not bother you. All the thrills of religion and none of the cost. Is the Life-Force the greatest achievement of wishful thinking the world has yet seen?" - C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

I am sure some of you may know that Oprah has been on a spirituality kick as of late. She is beginning a new series on the Oversoul and how she views the divine nature. The Oversoul is nothing but this same Life-Force mentioned by C.S. Lewis and is a depersonalization of our heavenly Father. If our souls cry out for unity with the Divine Being then this is man's solution to reach that Divine Being without having to be accountable to it at the same time. This is not a progression in Christianity, as some have been led to believe, but a digression in Christianity. The relationship Christ introduced to mankind with the "Oversoul" was one of intimacy and personal relationship with a Father. We are already past the impersonal stage of not knowing who God really is and we are already partaking in the divine nature as an intimate part of it. Why would one wish to digress from intimacy into a vague and distant relationship offered by the transcendentalism of the Oversoul? Do we really wish to stretch out our arms and instead of embracing God, hold Him at arms length. I have news... there is no "bubble" space when it comes to God. You either partake and allow Him to enter into you or you cannot be a part of His divine nature.

A belief in the Oversoul would be something expected of a person on their way to discovering truth - a step in the right direction to learning more of God. But as Christians we have already discovered truth and have progressed further into an actual relationship with God and not a mere questioning into an impersonal Deity. "When I was a child I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me." 1 Corinthians 13:11. The spiritual maturity available through Christianity and an intimate relationship with our heavenly Father is what makes us "men" in this sense. We do not digress to childish ways but move forward into the spiritual adulthood offered through Christ.

Christians, do not be fooled by this seemingly harmless philosophy. It will eventually strip you of your relationship with God and you will become one of the many to which Christ must deny knowing. "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!" - Matt. 7:21-23. Our relationship of intimately knowing Christ is what allows us to be enveloped into the divine nature. Desire to be part of the Oversoul is pure in intent but blemished in that it cannot be done of our own efforts. There is only one way to partake in that nature. "Jesus answered, 'I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.'" - John 14:6-7. See Christ and see the Father. Intimately know Christ and know the Father. This is the only way to reach the Father - the ultimate divine supreme being.

Understanding Grace

"...the older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father,'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!' 'My son,' the father said, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.'" - Luke 15:28-32

We are all the prodigal son. There is not one of us that is without sin and therefore there is not one of us who has at one time or another not been separated from the Father. But so often we take on the air of the older brother in relation to those in the body of Christ around us. We assume that since we have given longer years of service or have not been lost in the same manner that we are due a greater pleasure or service from God. When we enter into this mindset we lose sight of the Spirit of grace. Grace is that which affords joy, pleasure, delight, sweetness, charm, and loveliness; to have favor, elegance, and acceptance.

The bitterness of the older brother ran so deep he would not even recognize the prodigal son as his brother. Do we do this? Do we acknowledge some fellow believers as children of the Father but fail to accept them as our brothers and sisters, harboring instead resentment and jealousy? I see this attitude a lot in the organized church - the spirit of eliteness. It is nothing other than pride and is a foul and evil spirit.

Romans 5:20 tells us that "where sin increased, grace increased all the more." Grace can be measured in the distance covered in the return to the Father. The passage goes on to explain that this does not mean we continue in sin. But where sin has been dealt with and forgiven it is not our job to dig it back up. This is also a result of an evil spirit. The Holy Spirit is a spirit of conviction, not of guilt. Conviction leads to repentance but there is no place in God's family for guilt.

We have all experienced grace and should take joy with our fellow brothers and sisters when they too can experience and partake of the grace of God. Acts 20:32 defines words of grace as words which build up and give an inheritance. Instead of being selfish with our inheritance let us share in the inheritance by building each other up. This is the true Spirit of Grace and a spirit we should all desire greatly to have in our lives. The next time you find yourself wanting to bite with words that hurt and question the validity of a brother or sister's experience with grace, remember your spirit of grace - it is the most valuable gift God has given anyone, and it is meant to be shared. We are all prodigal sons. There is no one who is self-righteous. Jesus came to us in grace and truth. We should aspire to be full of grace and truth as well.

Mother's Day Tea

Today at Naomi's school, they hosted a Mother's Day Tea for all of the mothers. It was a fun time. They made crafts for us and we all played games together. This is a flower Naomi made me. I love it because it reminds me of a tulip - and I love tulips.


This is us goofing off with the camera.


This is a shot of Naomi and her bestest bud, Owen.


Card from Naomi:


Naomi and her teacher:



More crafts for me:

A Beautiful Mind

"However, as it is written: 'No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him' - but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man's spirit within him? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us." I Corinthians 2:9-12.

When I watched the movie "A Beautiful Mind" I can remember weeping at the moment I realized his genius mind was falling apart. In the movie "The Notebook" my heart was wrenched from my chest when I realized who this elderly woman was and that her mind was truly escaping her clutches. But I did not realize how truly precious my own mind was to me until recently.

I came home one day from an extremely enlightening seminar in which I had discovered my spiritual gifts and how I was to use them in the body of Christ. I was so excited I wanted to share my thoughts with anyone who would listen. I called my mother and told her of my elation. I was so excited I even wanted to tell my husband. You may think it odd that I say even, but if you knew the relationship it would not be so odd. Spiritual matters are not something my husband takes much interest in and whenever I approach the subject of spiritual matters he tends to shut off and become frustrated with me. So I have learned over time to not bring up spiritual conversations but to instead live out my spirituality in my every day life.

But at this moment I was so excited I did not even care... I wanted to share it anyway. When I recognized the blank tuned out expression my heart fell. I was devastated. Over the past year, my spiritual journey with God has skyrocketed and I love the thoughts and moments I receive from God. Sometimes I am so excited I burst at the seams to tell the world - and I usually do. But the more I have grown, the more my mind has turned towards God and most of the things it produces are in relation to spiritual matters. I have a beautiful mind and the person I felt I should be closest too did not care to know my beautiful mind. I was heart broken. I did not voice these sentiments, I kept them to myself and pondered and cried over them. Over the next two days I hurt so deeply but I did not know how to put a voice to it. I crawled into my closet one morning and I told God my feelings - how hurt I was. And in the stillness of the morning He spoke. "Do you know my mind?" What? "Do you know my mind?" ...uh... "I have an exquisite and beautiful mind too. Do you know my mind?"

Our trichotomous nature consists of body, mind, and soul. In our romantic relationships we focus on knowing each others bodies. We search, explore and take delight in the body. We know each other's souls - the seat of our emotions. We know what makes the other person angry, sad, or happy and we learn how to cultivate our actions to stimulate those emotions. But do we ever know each other's minds. Do we search to know the mind as we do the body and soul? I have a beautiful mind. I realized over the course of those several days how much I yearned for my husband to know my mind and how much it broke my heart that he did not care to know my mind. And in my pain, God showed me His soul, His hurt when we do not yearn to know His mind. We focus on the body of Christ, getting to know each other and becoming Christ-like. We focus on the soul - the seat of emotions, the sentiments and elations of the Spirit. But we do not place an even amount of focus on the thoughts and mind of the Father. We fear to know the mind, because to know the mind takes us to an all new plateau of intimacy and relationship. It is also a level of higher accountability. When we truly know the mind, we cannot ignore the motives and intimate desires of God. 1 Corinthians talks about how to know the mind of God. Only the Spirit knows the thoughts of God and He has given us His Spirit so that we may know His mind and thoughts. Know the Spirit and know the mind of God. It is a beautiful mind.

Da Vinci - Genius, Conspiracist, or Pervert?

Over the past several years there has been an increasing interest in the work of Leonardo Da Vinci. Much of this attention is due to the controversy which arose out of the fictional claims of Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code. Lately I too have taken an interest in Da Vinci's work. I researched many views on what his work entailed. One of the favorite things people like to do is to impose mirror images of Da Vinci's work on top of the original and make images out of those results. They claim that these images are what Da Vinci was attempting to hide in his work. I am not convinced. I think a lot of times people assume since what they put together was so easily accomplished on a computer then naturally it could be accomplished just as easily in hand. But this is not so. In order for Da Vinci to impose mirror images on top of each other he would have had to create his masterpieces several times to accomplish this. I don't see him going through all that trouble. What did spark my interest is that Da Vinci enjoyed mirror writing. Which was simply writing backwards. This he could easily have accomplished by placing a mirror directly beside his notebook. And then I began to wonder... what if he did this with his paintings. What if instead of imposing images... he simply mirrored a story - a story that could only be finished when aligned with its mirror reflection. And so I began to twist and turn his photos aligning them in mirror forms...and here is what I found.



This is the painting known as the "Virgin on the Rocks". This is only one mirror image of the painting. When reversed to view the opposing mirror image a different picture takes form. But focus a minute on this painting and see if you do not find something rather odd about the formations as they come together. If you are female and you feel the need to blush then you have indeed found the hidden image. In the reverse mirror image a different picture emerges.




So my question I pose to anyone who will take the time to analyze is this: What was Da Vinci intending to convey in these paintings? I do not think the images emerging are accidental. I attempted the same thing with remakes of his works and the pictures do not form as they do in his originals. Many of his paintings yield results in coming together to form interesting new stories. This is the only one I will focus on today but what do you think he intended the viewer to find? This painting in particular was contracted by the Roman Catholic Church to depict the Immaculate Conception. Does it do that? Or does it tell a different story? There is no right or wrong answer; I am merely curious as to how others would interpret this.

P.S. No, there is no spiritual take away from this. It is merely the result of an extremely boring day.

Objectification

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing." 1 Corinthians 13:1-3

Objectification is a term which refers to behavior in which one person treats another person as an object and not as a fellow human being with feelings and consciousness of his or her own, in other words, as without agency. Sexual objectification occurs when a person is seen as a sexual object; when their sexual attributes and physical attractiveness are separated from the rest of their personality and existence as an individual, and reduced to instruments of pleasure for another person. This is a disregard for personal abilities and capabilities.

The lure of physical pornography is in the passivity it allows in one’s sexual life. There is no commitment required. We allow ourselves to circumvent the demands of the relationship for respect, giving, and interaction and yet still experience the sexual sensations and releases of true physical contact. We objectify each other as human beings. In doing this we are lulled into addiction and a false representation of physical pleasure; a rush of euphoric sensations without the committal of intimately knowing another individual. As a part of God given to the church to come alongside in our aid as the Great Paraclete, we know surprisingly little concerning the person of the Holy Spirit. As a body we are torn between extremes of sensation and cessation of the works of the Holy Spirit. In our resistance to know the true nature of the Holy Spirit we allow ourselves to remain distant from the consequences of relationship.

By not coming to know the person of the Holy Spirit we are allowed this same sense of false pleasure. We objectify the person of the Holy Spirit, abusing the gifts and sensations without truly understanding or intimately knowing the depth of the power God has made available to us. We come to church every Sunday expecting man’s orchestration of spiritual programming to invoke for us that “feel good” experience. We fail to recognize the divine nature within us and to regularly cultivate that in growth and instead content ourselves with “quick fixes” of the Holy Spirit. Through the objectification of the Holy Spirit we are allowed a level of passivity in our spiritual lives. Our reluctance to delve into the actual person of the Holy Spirit enables us to treat this precious gift of God as impersonal. The moment we recognize the uniqueness of the person of the Holy Spirit we are called into accountability to respect, and intimately know God in order to partake of His nature. We are forced to let go of our view of the Holy Spirit as a means of bending God’s will to our own and must instead acknowledge the power which partners with us, alongside of us instead of the power we wield. The Holy Spirit is a person who comes alongside of mankind, demonstrating power in proportion to our faith. Much in the manner that we sexually objectify women, we spiritually objectify the Holy Spirit.

Our desire of the Holy Spirit is pure in intent but just like our earthly relationships there are conditions and requirements for a healthy relationship. Exercise of the gifts without love for the Spirit is pointless and futile. We cannot love what we do not know; therefore we must know the Spirit. When a breakdown of relationship happens, or when there is never a relationship developed to start with, then a depersonalization of the individual occurs. We begin to place value only on what can be done for us; how we can benefit from the other person instead of appreciating the actual person. When is the last time we thanked, praised, cherished or loved the Holy Spirit for the gifts and works done on our behalf?