This morning I logged into FB to be greeted by a reminder of what I posted on this day in 2010. My status update was, “Orientation Day at Denver Seminary! Here we go!” I must say with complete satisfaction that I have finished my first year at Denver Seminary and survived. It was a difficult year; not academically, but personally. Of course the personal trials affected my academics, but I managed to stay afloat. I suffered through the loss of several relationships due to death, distance, deployment, and the like. These losses however, were not wasted.
I have long lacked the ability to process grief well, often opting for busyness or distraction over the discomfort of acknowledgment. This year was different. I have many close friends, family and mentors that helped me to process the disappointment and failures, mourning them while maintaining forward movement. I was shocked by the paralyzing effects of grief and greatly appreciative of the people in my life that demanded growth despite pain. The majority of disruption occurred shortly after the New Year. I spent my Lent season enmeshed in the book of Lamentations and remorsefully laid to rest, my sadness. My goal was to end this time of retrospection, and begin to move forward once more by Easter as a symbol of new beginnings. I made the transition somewhat awkwardly, but efficiently. The most difficult part was cultivating healthy characteristics of introversion. I am naturally an extrovert and gravitate to projecting and processing my emotions with others. This time I needed to take responsibility for my thoughts and feelings and process them for myself, albeit with guidance from trusted individuals close to me.
It is amazing the difference in the level of stress and anger when pain is processed well. The healing offered through the disciplines of stillness and silence led me to a greater understanding of the character of Christ as he frequently withdrew to be alone. I am convinced that his actions during these moments were due to the weight of grief that accompanies a fallen world. The comfort of the Spirit and mentorship of the Father were instrumental in his ability to confront the pain of this world. This has led me to a greater appreciation for the people God has placed in my life to offer comfort and mentoring as instruments of His grace. Lord knows, I am undeserving of such affection, and yet He freely gives it. The thought of that alone overwhelms me with gratitude.
By summer I was recovering well and taking steps to create additional networks and friends. This was greatly enriching in that I was able to not only receive healing, but also to minister out of my pain and experience. That aspect is truly redemptive of many misfortunes we may suffer in life. I am beginning to grasp God’s purposes accomplished through suffering and the path that is traveled from brokenness to wholeness. My course work for the summer entailed two Old Testament classes that spoke often of suffering and God’s intervention and redemption to repentant hearts. And so my summer was consumed with acknowledging and taking ownership of my failures and mistakes in life, repenting of them, and allowing God the pleasure of molding these circumstances for His purpose. Of course, He was already working these things out for His purposes so it was more a matter of perspective and submission on my part to His plan.
As my summer comes to a close I am pleased with what God has accomplished in my character over the course of the last year. My goal for this fall is to make some of the necessary transitions into increased responsibility for decision making in the areas of finance, occupation, and relationships. I am working through Townsend and Cloud’s Safe People to both become a safer person and invest in friendships with safe people.
The summer was not all hardship and heaviness. The children and I had a lot of fun taking advantage of the outdoors and staying active. Naomi has turned into quite the cyclist and is a great pace setter for my runs. Declan enjoys the rides in his stroller and gives me quite the workout, especially when we hit hills. They are quite the training team and have contributed greatly to my 5K race times this year. I am hoping to increase the physical challenge a bit this next year. I have a half marathon planned for January and am looking into starting some aquathlons. I love swimming and running, but am not a huge fan of cycling or else I would contemplate triathlons. (I have had a slight aversion to anything with two wheels after a motorcycle mishap 11 years ago. I’ll ride with Naomi and Declan at their pace, but that’s about it. Maybe I’ll work on that fear next year.)
I tried to work on a few decorating projects over the summer. I redecorated my entire bedroom and turned it into something of a reading conclave. It is a peaceful retreat where I look forward to comfortably reading more. I updated Naomi’s room with a few girly odds and ends, throw rugs, pillows, and pictures. Now that Declan has shown interest in themes I have updated his room to reflect his interests – Toy Story and a little bit of Cars. The next project on my list is remodeling the master bath – a daunting task. Some builder decided it was a bright idea to put carpet in the bathroom. Ugh! I have hated it for the last 7 years and am finally making plans to do something about it. After that I will tackle the front and back yard landscaping. I am definitely going to need help on that, since I have absolutely NO green thumb whatsoever.
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| Bedroom Project |
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| My Reading Nook |
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| A Trip to IKEA |
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| My Little Library |
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| Wall Art by Me (Clearly a novice) |
I am very excited about my course load this upcoming semester. After fifteen years of wanting to learn Hebrew (ever since my trip to Israel), I am finally getting to do so. I had selected Hebrew as my desired language upon entering the Air Force, but they rarely assign you accordingly. I was assigned Russian while a friend of mine received Hebrew. She was greatly disappointed after finding out so I had offered at the time to trade with her (the AF allows this), but alas, after seeing my enthusiasm she decided to keep it. It has all worked out for the better. Now I will get to learn it anyway and have Russian to boot! I am looking forward to my Theology course. I spent last year knocking out the basic requirements of my degree program in Theology, but did not actually get to take a Theology class. I am also looking forward to a course in Teaching and Education since this is likely the path I will take when my degree program is complete. I can articulate my ideas well enough in writing, but when it comes to vocalizing a defense I am somewhat timid. I am looking forward to some increased confidence in this area, but am trying not to set my expectations too high. My remaining course is an exegesis of Romans. Fortunately I spent the summer already translating Romans so have a slight jump on the course and can focus more on the theological aspects of the book.
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| First Day of 3rd Grade |
Naomi started third grade last week and absolutely loves it! I recall third grade being my favorite year as well. I really developed a love of math that year and Naomi has expressed similar affinities. She continues to love art and I try to encourage her to pursue that. She likes basketball and is getting pretty good at making shots. This year she also decided she wanted to try horseback riding so I am looking into that possibility. Naomi turns 9 in March, which is the recommended age for beginner snowboarders, so we will definitely be carving out some time to hit the slopes and get her going on that. She has great muscle definition and I am foreseeing will pick it up quickly and be a natural!
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| What a Character! |
Declan loves, loves, loves singing and is starting to talk/sing nonstop. I don’t know when he finds time to breathe. I enjoy our little conversations and listening to his paragraphs of gibberish that are slowly beginning to take on some form of coherency. He loves his daycare/school and teachers. They are a great group of caretakers/educators and communicate very well with all the parents about the children’s developments and challenges. Declan is an avid climber and will climb on any and everything in sight. This of course means lots of tumbles and bruises – all part of being an adventurous little boy. I have stopped fretting over every fall and have embraced the fact that trips to Urgent Care are inevitable. At least we’re not on a first name basis.
I had hoped to include some positive news on the job front in this blog, but unfortunately that will need to wait for the next update. I am currently awaiting news on a contract bid I placed for a position as a Religious Education Coordinator for the Air Force. The contract has not yet been awarded and should be decided any day now. I try not to think about it too much or my stomach starts to tie up in knots. I continue to write in my spare time and published my first article titled “The Missions’ Apprentice” for Christ for the Nations’ (Dallas, TX) magazine. It was exciting to see my words in print and I look forward to future opportunities in publishing my work. School tends to absorb most of my writing effort and so I frequently update my blog with some of my papers. I have joined several theology networks and look forward to participating more actively with them as I write more in this area for school.
Well, that’s about it for news right now. I appreciate your prayers as I face many new challenges this year. Thanks for stopping by and reading my blog.
Blessings,
Debbie
