Friday, May 18, 2012

Hospitality

My initial response to the word "hospitality" is, Dear God, please no. I have a lot of gifts, some more prominent than others. I would say that my most motivating gift is teaching; I absolutely love it. The research, the compiling of information, the organizing, and the writing - love it! In fact my love for it is so compelling that it causes me to fear any identity in other gifts. I want to converse with people, to engage with their intellect, to coax out ideas, to match minds. I don't want to be stuck in the kitchen! I think one of my greatest fears in ministry has been that I will walk into a place, they will see I am a woman and immediately stick me in the kitchen or in the nursery and my longing for cerebral intimacy will dissipate into loneliness and the monotony of screaming infants and clanging pots. Oh God, please no!

And so, I hide. I hide the gift. But it's not really possible to hide. Really. I find myself leaping inwardly at the opportunity to host events or feed people. And even then I feel shame for wanting that. I recall one evening a friend asked me why I made food for a gathering and I was afraid to say, "Because I love doing it." I found myself conjuring a list of excuses to spout off, detracting and derailing any attempt to trap me in that box. It's silly, I know.

I have discovered that my affinity for hospitality is not so distinct from my teaching gift; both involve feeding people. I am simply driven to give people what they need for sustenance and  growth. Teaching spiritually feeds the body of Christ, giving us nurture and goodness. The healthier we are as a body, the more united we are. We eat from the same plate and we drink from the same cup and we are one.

Food has a way of drawing people together into community and cohesion. One evening I made food for an event. I recall walking into the room carrying my plate of treats and what was a scattered room suddenly became a cluster of chatter and excitement circulating around food. The excitement wasn't over the food, but food was the venue for drawing together and uplifting those present. It is the same with our spiritual food and our expressions of that. Whether through the Eucharist or through the preaching of the Word, it is all food that draws us together and unites us in the body of Christ. And so I am convicted to more boldly use this gift to foster greater unity around me.

Several years ago a friend of mine identified compassion as his driving motivation in the expression of gifts. And he was saddened. Not because of anything internal but because of others' perceptions of his gift. He was told that his gift of compassion greatly incapacitated him in any kind of pastoral or leadership role. Translation: "You poor sap, what a girly gift to have." It was most unfortunate and greatly misguided. I would choose that man to sit through any pain, sorrow, or distress with me in life. Fortunately he disregarded that misconception and now serves as a hospital chaplain, walking friends and families through the pains and losses in life.

Stereotypes, whether of gender, culture, or race in the body can hamper us from the expression of our gifts and it is a key tool of the enemy to prevent us from serving and strengthening one another. Are there gifts you hide because you are afraid of how others will view your contribution? Are there cultural conventions that drive you into hiding the gifts God has blessed you with for the lifting up and edification of His body? Don't squander them. God gives them because they are needed. Use them boldly.


2 comments:

Patti Downs said...

I thoroughly enjoyed this blog! It was very insightful. Thank you for writing it. :)

John Stockwell said...

Great blog posts.

Any gift should be given without strings, agendas, or an expectation of _quid pro quo_.

Now, of course, we often do _quid pro quo_ exchanges but those should not be confused with a gift.

Much of what is called "hospitality" is really a _quid pro quo_ exchange.