The Complainer

“Do everything without complaining or arguing.” Philippians 2:14

I find it rather ironic that I am writing a blog on this. But hopefully by addressing my concerns about the complainer, I will be able to differentiate in the mind of the reader the difference between constructive rebuke and outright impotent complaint.

I think it will be helpful to start off with a little word study on what 'complaining' really means in this context. The Greek word used in this verse is more specifically, ‘murmuring’. A murmur is one of three things: 1) a low, indistinct, continuous sound; 2) an indistinct, whispered, or confidential complaint; or 3) an abnormal sound, usually emanating from the heart that sometimes indicates a diseased condition. I am actually going to use all three definitions to better understand the meaning of this verse and the many implications behind this person we are going to refer to quite simply as ‘the complainer’.

The first portion of the definition, ‘a low, indistinct, continuous sound’, brings to mind an annoyance of some sort, whether it be a dripping faucet, a buzzing, or perhaps a quiet hiss of static. At any rate, what we can assume from these occurrences is that something is amiss and needs to be put right – a tightening of a valve, the riddance of a pest, or frequency adjustment. But oddly enough the actual adjustment needs to happen at the source of the complaint not at its recipient. If I am the hearer of these complaints, simply plugging my ears or leaving the room is not going to solve the situation, it simply prolongs the symptoms and in some cases can lend to catastrophic consequences. What I learn from this definition is that complaint all by itself is a sign that something is wrong at the source – with the one complaining.

The second definition, ‘an indistinct, whispered, or confidential complaint’ attacks the articulation and productivity of the complaint. One of the key components of communication is articulation. It is important to be able to convey a comprehensive concern to others if we ever expect a change to occur or action to be taken. The ‘whispered or confidential’ aspect of the definition, while having its place in seeking out counsel (counsel meaning you are procuring resolution and forward movement on an issue) does not have a place in the context of idle gossip. The difference between counsel and gossip is that counsel is meant to resolve issues whereas gossip is impotent and simply promotes discontentment and negativity.

The third definition, ‘an abnormal sound, usually emanating from the heart that sometimes indicates a diseased condition’ is the most profound of definitions when applied to the complainer. A murmur or complaint in this context can quite literally affect the entire performance of the body and incapacitate its growth, circulation, and effectiveness. Within the body of Christ this is a serious concern and one that should not be taken lightly.

There is an extreme difference between issuing a complaint and expressing a concern. A complaint has no fruitfulness, offers no solutions, creates discord and attacks the integrity of the body. An expressed concern, however, places expectations of change, offers progressive solutions, and promotes the well being and healthy functioning of the body.

I am exposed to complaints on a daily basis with my children. They have legitimate needs that must be met but often they cannot properly express those needs or articulate their concerns. My son, who is 10 months old resorts to fussing and crying. My daughter, who is 7 yrs old, is much better at expressing her needs and displaying healthy responses. My son’s needs are no less important than my daughter’s but his level of physical maturity inhibits him from properly conveying those needs to me in a manner that will generate immediate results. Much time and effort is wasted in an attempt to discern the appropriate need to meet. The same can be said of our spiritual maturity. When we complain, whimpering and whining about our present dissatisfaction without offering solutions, speaking coherently, or promoting the health of the body we display spiritual immaturity. Paul never meant to say that we must not express ourselves, our needs or our concerns. He was simply attacking the cowardice of impotent expression which manifests as complaints, leaving the believer devoid of growth which in turn stifles and plagues the body.

So the next time you think of issuing a complaint, try accompanying it with a productive solution, better articulation, and a sincere display of compassion for the well being of others. By doing this you will transform that complaint into a legitimate need worthy to be addressed and met; a need that when met will stimulate growth and flourish, creating fruitfulness and begetting life to everyone around.