A Beautiful Mind

"However, as it is written: 'No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him' - but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man's spirit within him? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us." I Corinthians 2:9-12.

When I watched the movie "A Beautiful Mind" I can remember weeping at the moment I realized his genius mind was falling apart. In the movie "The Notebook" my heart was wrenched from my chest when I realized who this elderly woman was and that her mind was truly escaping her clutches. But I did not realize how truly precious my own mind was to me until recently.

I came home one day from an extremely enlightening seminar in which I had discovered my spiritual gifts and how I was to use them in the body of Christ. I was so excited I wanted to share my thoughts with anyone who would listen. I called my mother and told her of my elation. I was so excited I even wanted to tell my husband. You may think it odd that I say even, but if you knew the relationship it would not be so odd. Spiritual matters are not something my husband takes much interest in and whenever I approach the subject of spiritual matters he tends to shut off and become frustrated with me. So I have learned over time to not bring up spiritual conversations but to instead live out my spirituality in my every day life.

But at this moment I was so excited I did not even care... I wanted to share it anyway. When I recognized the blank tuned out expression my heart fell. I was devastated. Over the past year, my spiritual journey with God has skyrocketed and I love the thoughts and moments I receive from God. Sometimes I am so excited I burst at the seams to tell the world - and I usually do. But the more I have grown, the more my mind has turned towards God and most of the things it produces are in relation to spiritual matters. I have a beautiful mind and the person I felt I should be closest too did not care to know my beautiful mind. I was heart broken. I did not voice these sentiments, I kept them to myself and pondered and cried over them. Over the next two days I hurt so deeply but I did not know how to put a voice to it. I crawled into my closet one morning and I told God my feelings - how hurt I was. And in the stillness of the morning He spoke. "Do you know my mind?" What? "Do you know my mind?" ...uh... "I have an exquisite and beautiful mind too. Do you know my mind?"

Our trichotomous nature consists of body, mind, and soul. In our romantic relationships we focus on knowing each others bodies. We search, explore and take delight in the body. We know each other's souls - the seat of our emotions. We know what makes the other person angry, sad, or happy and we learn how to cultivate our actions to stimulate those emotions. But do we ever know each other's minds. Do we search to know the mind as we do the body and soul? I have a beautiful mind. I realized over the course of those several days how much I yearned for my husband to know my mind and how much it broke my heart that he did not care to know my mind. And in my pain, God showed me His soul, His hurt when we do not yearn to know His mind. We focus on the body of Christ, getting to know each other and becoming Christ-like. We focus on the soul - the seat of emotions, the sentiments and elations of the Spirit. But we do not place an even amount of focus on the thoughts and mind of the Father. We fear to know the mind, because to know the mind takes us to an all new plateau of intimacy and relationship. It is also a level of higher accountability. When we truly know the mind, we cannot ignore the motives and intimate desires of God. 1 Corinthians talks about how to know the mind of God. Only the Spirit knows the thoughts of God and He has given us His Spirit so that we may know His mind and thoughts. Know the Spirit and know the mind of God. It is a beautiful mind.