The Mother Church

A woman lies curled in her bed, seeking comfort and solace in light of another onset of menstruation. Seven years of fertility drugs and 3 miscarriages have left her empty and devoid of life. 2 years later this young woman again lay in bed, only this time delivering a little girl 15 weeks early. Motherhood for her is riddled with pain in conception, striving in delivery, and years of laborious efforts to keep her young daughter on par with growth scales.

A 21 yr old woman discovers she is pregnant. In a brief assessment of her life, direction and future, she realizes she is incapable of providing a stable home for her son. The only recourse she can see is to find a loving and promising home for him. Three days after he is born she feeds and changes him, buckles him into his car seat, prays over him, and kisses him goodbye as he is whisked away into the receiving arms of his new mother and father leaving the young woman’s arms empty and her body yearning to sustain an absent infant. Motherhood for her signifies emptiness, heartache, and questioning.

A young man stares out the driver’s seat window at the front doors of an abortion clinic. His girlfriend, inside for the last hour, walks intentionally to the car and slides into the passenger seat. They sit and talk over the implications of an ultrasound image portraying twin life within her.  Fearful of what the world would think of them they follow through with their initial plan to terminate the pregnancy. 10 years later this man still grieves every anniversary of that day, crying over the loss of life that was part of him. To this seasoned, war-hardened marine, motherhood symbolizes loss, untrustworthiness, and death.

An abandoned and divorced mother struggles to put back together some semblance of normality for her family. She scrambles to recover a career laid aside for family planning, and provide for her children.  For this woman motherhood means loneliness, undesirability, and unrealized dreams.

A middle-aged woman battles with the changes of her body as she nears the end of her reproductive cycles. While having a sense of fulfillment over the children she has, she watches them struggle in asserting their independence in the world and wonders if she should not and could not have done more. As she gazes upon her legacy in the world she is plagued by regret. Her body grieves the end of a season.  Motherhood to her encapsulates purpose gone, mistakes made, and relationships underdeveloped.

One of many traits these seemingly unconnected individuals possess is that they have all come to the Church seeking wholeness and healing. The problem we encounter with identifying the Church as Mother is that it often adopts the form of our preconceived notions of motherhood as opposed to defining a concept that we are to then imitate. We define the Church by what we know instead of allowing the Church to define what we know. St. Augustine is credited with saying, “The Church is a whore, but she is my Mother.” Is she a whore because it is ingrained in her nature? Or is she instead a whore because we bring our fallen and broken images of mother and impose them upon her?

The Church is to stay true to the purpose of her existence in morality, maintenance, and mission. The Virtuous Bride of Christ brings healing and restoration to a broken world. The Church, as the body and bride of Christ is to reflect His name, desirability and character to the world. Throughout history and into the present the church frequently ignores matters of social concern and her role to meet those concerns. She sacrifices morality, and mission for the sake of her own exaltation and maintenance.

Proverbs 31 is written as a literal explanation of what is desired in a good wife. As women work through the implications of this passage, the impossibility of this character and her characteristics becomes apparent and overwhelming. In the context of the book of Proverbs these many characteristics are repeated throughout the book as qualities belonging to the personification of wisdom. True wisdom belongs to God. 

 

In the NT men are exhorted in their roles as husbands to be Christ-like. We understand the exemplification of these characteristics to be good because Christ, as God, possessed the divine nature of God. Husbands strive to be more like God in character through their roles as husbands. Rarely do we look at the qualities praised in women as also being characteristic of the divine nature; and yet they are. The characteristics depicted in the personification of wisdom and culminating in Prov. 31 are exemplary of the role of wife and mother. In the NT, wives are exhorted in their roles as wives in comparison to the Church as Christ’s bride. Since Scripture is not intended to be contradictory then the roles described in Prov. 31 not only apply to the physical femininity of women in the role of wife but also apply to the spiritual femininity of the Church in her role as the bride of Christ.

Proverbs 31:10-31 An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. She looks for wool and flax and works with her hands in delight. She is like merchant ships; she brings her food from afar. She rises also while it is still night and gives food to her household and portions to her maidens. She rises also while it is still night and gives food to her household and portions to her maidens. She girds herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She senses that her gain is good; her lamp does not go out at night. She stretches out her hands to the distaff, and her hands grasp the spindle. She extends her hand to the poor, And she stretches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household, for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She makes coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies belts to the tradesmen. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future. She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and bless her; her husband also, and he praises her, saying: "Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all." Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her the product of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.

 

The original audience for this passage was the nation of Israel. When we extrapolate meaning and application from a passage for the purpose of applying it to a modern audience, we must be true to the process. While these attributes were indeed desirable for a spouse at that time, we must question why these traits are admirable. Each and every trait is desirable because they are attributes of God’s character. In all the history of mankind have you ever seen or known God to exalt or honor characteristics that are not first and foremost His own? The answer is – no! So we must conclude that these are characteristics of God. Each attribute described in Proverbs 31 aligns with a parallel use in reference to the personification of Wisdom throughout wisdom literature in the OT. If these attributes are desirable in a bride because they reflect the divine nature of God, then it stands to reason that as the Bride of Christ these are attributes Christ desires in us and characteristics that please Him. 

So the question remains who are we attempting to please? Do we desire to please the world or is our desire to serve our Groom. Are we, the Church, prudent with our finances, spending wisely on land, buildings, and modifications? (Prov. 31:13-16) Are we reaching out to embrace, feed, and clothe the poor and needy? (Prov. 31:20) Are we vigilant? (Prov. 31:18) Do we focus on pleasing the masses, and appealing to their senses or are we faithful to a genuine respect and fear of the LORD? (Prov. 31:30) Do we make our Groom's name known and respected to the world? (Prov. 31:23) 

 “Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.  She brings him good, not harm all the days of her life.” Ideally this is a very difficult role to embrace. God trusts us? Why would He do such a thing? Is it even theologically sound to suggest that God would place His trust in something outside of Himself? This may be where we are permeated with skepticism and doubt. Are we outside of God, or are we truly grafted into His body and part of Him extending to the world? Now THAT is an overwhelming concept to ponder.  God has pulled us into Himself, into His family, and trusts us fully with His mission to the world. That can certainly hold water. But what of our handling of this task? Have we, as Prov 31: 12 suggests, brought Him good, not harm, all the days of our life? Conceptually, yes; specifically, no. Because we exist today, we are an attestation to the life-giving power and endurance of God in the world; 2000 years is nothing to sneeze at. We have failed in some aspects because we are an organism compiled of imperfect and broken people. In a Kingdom economy a good wife and mother is the Church.  I am not suggesting some hidden secrecy or foretelling prophecy, it is an eternal principle of the intimate relationship between bride and groom and thereby a subsequent tool for defining the role of the Church in her relationship to Christ.We, the Church, are Christ's Bride and True Mother to the lost and hurt in the world and grace emanates from our very existence.

The scenarios I shared at the beginning of this piece were not mere hyperbole. They were not construed to evoke emotion or manipulate your feelings.  These are real scenarios that I have observed and participated in. This was my family and our experiences in and with motherhood. The woman struggling torridly through the barren wasteland of infertility, the young woman who found herself wrestling through the implications of unplanned pregnancy, the young man fearful of cultural and societal impressions and expectations, the woman picking up the pieces of a broken marriage, and the aging woman’s realization of a season ending - these are our stories. These stories are common within the Church and often overlooked and the Church does not fulfill her role as mother to this very real pain and sorrow in her midst. This Mother's Day I challenge you to question what "mother" means to you and ask the question, "Are we emulating brokenness in our expression of this role in the Church or are we adapting the divine image of Mother lain out for us in Scripture?" This Mother's Day, whether you are a physical mother or not, remember that we are all a part of the body of Christ and therefore Bride and Mother with implications much greater and longer lasting than any role we will have in this life. We are Mother.