I Want to Be Like Who

I missed blogging last week. I was sick. Icky sick. Tonsillitis sick. Or some such nonsense. It was miserable. 3 days of fever and it's still hard to swallow 6 days later. Takes me a really long time to eat stuff. In fact, that's why I'm blogging right now. I'm trying to eat and I got bored chewing my food incessantly. With all my down time if I wasn't sleeping, I was reading. I read more on acedia, which is kind of a dumb idea while sick. You feel lethargic to begin with and to pile conviction of unproductiveness on top of that just compounds the guilt. Guilt was short-lived however, when I came across an interesting quote.

"True sloths are not revolutionaries, but the lazy guardians at the gate of the status quo."

I wrote last year on several aspects of the status quo that I frequently encounter, but there are many others. I realized quickly that my frequent confrontations with the status quo pretty much negate any suspicion of slothfulness. I'm a pretty hard worker and downright revolutionary in some circles!

The weekend before last I took a trip down to Mexico with my rotary group to volunteer in a housebuilding project. I enjoyed it immensely. I learned a ton about building a house and hammered more nails than I could possibly count (my forearms reminded me for days after). I was amazed at how much we accomplished in 9 hours. I was also amazed at how much fun I had working on a roof. I was a little nervous at first, but adjusted quickly. I'm not afraid of heights exactly; I'm afraid of falling. There's a difference. Anyway, fear conquered and mission accomplished (yeah, that's me on the roof there). I got to meet and work alongside some amazing people. I've always enjoyed projects like these as they require physical exertion and time well spent with others. I'm not really the "isolated in a box" sort. That's an understatement. I pretty much wither and die. I've always needed to work with and around people.


I've been picking through episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation for a while now. I watched an episode from season 3 titled Hollow Pursuits that was pretty insightful as to what happens to a human being when they can no longer work with real people due to either intentional isolation and fantasizing or apathy. It's an easy habit to fall into. We fantasize about people all the time.


What should we say?
What should we do?
Wouldn't it be great if...
Oh that person made me so mad!
I should have said this or that!

Relationships and interactions begin to happen within our heads instead of in the real world. Expectations are managed in our heads with nary a word spoken. Arguments begin, climax and end leaving us with the full range of experienced emotions without even a face-to-face encounter.


Barclay, portrayed by Dwight Schultz, takes to spending most of his time on the holodeck rehearsing scenes he'd rather have played out with members of the Enterprise crew. Unfortunately, Barclay can no longer function in the real world. When he attempts to engage with the real crew members he freezes up and recedes into awkward silence. Finally frustrated, he returns again to the holodeck where his expectations and engagements can be managed to his satisfaction. Losing the ability to talk to real people is a shame.  Disengagement or detachment is an immature emotional response to human relational skills we've never taken the time to develop and do not have the courage to pursue. It's new. It's uncomfortable. And inside we're like cowering little children afraid to come out of the closet. As adults it manifests more as poor conflict resolution skills. Conflict's not really something that troubles me though. If I'm thinking something you're going to know about it. But I know people that disengage and detach and it saddens me. It's acquiescing to the status quo. It is a failure to be revolutionary. To be daring. To be bold and courageous. Have I mentioned I don't deal well with the status quo? Nor do I deal well with its slothful guardians. If the only change affected is your own status in the world then there is nothing revolutionary about your endeavors - no matter how noble they may seem. You are merely the status quo.


What an insane notion. Where do I get these ideas? Well, I'd like to think they're christocentric. The only other alternative persona I have for an altruistic individual humbly sacrificing his life for the human race is Who? Doctor, that is. I want to be like Who! Most people want to be a companion, but not this girl. I want to be Who. Because the only way you can be a good companion is by being just like Who. If I'm constantly setting my sites on being like one of the companions I'm never going to be in tune with my Doctor. I think this is an important principle people! Especially when I flip it back to a christocentric approach. I get annoyed when people say things like, "I want to be more like Moses, Abigail, Priscilla, Peter, Abraham,  or Mary." Why? They're just companions. The only reason they were even remotely successful in the parts they played is because they were following their Doctor. They were being Christ-like. Trying to be like just one of other followers is, well, blah. No one cosplays the cosplay. That's just silly. Likewise, you don't become a disciple by following someone else. The only way to become a true disciple is to follow the Master. I remember watching a pastor preach and pray once. Something about him just seemed off and fabricated. A few weeks later I met one of his mentors. I watched the mentor preach and pray and suddenly realized what I was seeing. I was seeing the mentee mimic the mentor instead of being a genuine demonstration of himself. It was almost comical. I see it a lot around me. Not just in ministry, but everywhere. We start sounding like those around us, changing, melding, molding into those we admire. We become collective replicas of one another, kind of like the cybermen. We forget who we are. We forget Who. (Ok, enough on my Who rant.)

Now back to acedia, sloth and revolutions - I think I'm ok in the grand scheme of things.  I think all my worry about acedia is for nought. I've spent way too much time worrying about appropriate levels of motivation, ambition, and drive only to realize that their focus was the very path towards acedia in the first place. Acedia is not merely inactivity; it is the often overlooked practice of being overly busy with the wrong things. Being busy with things about which we are not passionate or gifted. Acedia distracts us from our purpose in life, the role we should be playing for personal and spiritual growth and fulfillment. Acedia breeds boredom and discontent with everything. I've said it many times, but I guess I need to say it again to remind myself. My purpose and calling in life doesn't change. My roles and responsibilities may grow and change as life changes, but the underlying theme that gives me meaning doesn't change. And that is reassuring. If the source of our purpose and meaning is alterable, then it's not legitimate to begin with. However, if we perchance misinterpret our meaning and that alters, well then, that can generate an outright existential crisis. You don't want that.

I've thoroughly enjoyed my ongoing study into acedia. It has aided me in refocusing on the things in life that do indeed motivate me and drive my ambition. And just in time too! I've got family coming in town next week and I need to get stuff around here ready. Well, that's about all I've been up to the last 2 weeks offblog. Got a new piece coming soon on monkeys, man, and management. I realize this blog was a little helter-skelter, but I'm just going to blame it on my physical discomfort. I'm just glad I wrote it.