A woman lies curled in her bed,
seeking comfort and
solace in light of another onset of menstruation. Seven years of
fertility
drugs and 3 miscarriages have left her empty and devoid of life.
2 years later
this young woman again lay in bed, only this time delivering a
little girl 15
weeks early. Motherhood for her is riddled with pain in
conception, striving in
delivery, and years of laborious efforts to keep her young
daughter on par with
growth scales.
A 21 yr old woman discovers she
is pregnant. In a
brief assessment of her life, direction and future, she realizes
she is
incapable of providing a stable home for her son. The only
recourse she
can see is to find a loving and promising home for him.
Three days after he
is born she feeds and changes him, buckles him into his car
seat, prays over
him, and kisses him goodbye as he is whisked away into the
receiving arms of
his new mother and father leaving the young woman’s arms empty
and her body
yearning to sustain an absent infant. Motherhood for her
signifies emptiness,
heartache, and questioning.
A young man stares out the
driver’s seat window at
the front doors of an abortion clinic. His girlfriend, inside
for the last
hour, walks intentionally to the car and slides into the
passenger seat. They
sit and talk over the implications of an ultrasound image
portraying twin life
within her. Fearful of what the world
would think of them they follow through with their initial plan
to terminate
the pregnancy. 10 years later this man still grieves every
anniversary of that
day, crying over the loss of life that was part of him. To this
seasoned,
war-hardened marine, motherhood symbolizes loss,
untrustworthiness, and death.
An abandoned and divorced mother struggles to put back together some semblance
of normality for her family. She scrambles to recover a career laid aside for family
planning, and
provide for her children. For this woman
motherhood means loneliness, undesirability, and unrealized
dreams.
A middle-aged woman battles with
the changes of her
body as she nears the end of her reproductive cycles. While
having a sense of
fulfillment over the children she has, she watches them struggle
in asserting
their independence in the world and wonders if she should not
and could not have
done more. As she gazes upon her legacy in the world she is
plagued by regret.
Her body grieves the end of a season. Motherhood
to her encapsulates purpose gone,
mistakes made, and relationships underdeveloped.
One of many traits these
seemingly unconnected
individuals possess is that they have all come to the Church
seeking wholeness
and healing. The problem we encounter with identifying the
Church as Mother is
that it often adopts the form of our preconceived notions of
motherhood as opposed
to defining a concept that we are to then imitate. We define the
Church by what
we know instead of allowing the Church to define what we know. St.
Augustine is credited with saying, “The Church is a whore, but
she is my
Mother.” Is she a whore because it is ingrained in her nature? Or is she instead a whore because we bring our fallen and broken images of mother and impose them upon her?
The Church is to stay true to
the purpose of her
existence in morality, maintenance, and mission. The Virtuous
Bride of Christ
brings healing and restoration to a broken world. The
Church, as the body and bride of Christ is to reflect His name,
desirability
and character to the world. Throughout
history
and into the present the church frequently ignores matters of
social
concern and her role to meet those concerns. She sacrifices
morality, and
mission for the sake of her own exaltation and maintenance.
Proverbs 31 is written as a
literal explanation of
what is desired in a good wife. As women work through the
implications of this
passage, the impossibility of this character and her
characteristics becomes
apparent and overwhelming. In the context of the book of
Proverbs these many
characteristics are repeated throughout the book as qualities
belonging to the
personification of wisdom. True wisdom belongs to God.
In the NT men are exhorted in their roles
as husbands to be Christ-like. We understand the exemplification
of these
characteristics to be good because Christ, as God, possessed the
divine nature
of God. Husbands strive to be more like God in character through
their roles as
husbands. Rarely do we look at the qualities praised in women as
also being
characteristic of the divine nature; and yet they are. The
characteristics
depicted in the personification of wisdom and culminating in
Prov. 31 are
exemplary of the role of wife and mother. In the NT, wives are
exhorted in
their roles as wives in comparison to the Church as Christ’s
bride. Since
Scripture is not intended to be contradictory then the roles
described in Prov.
31 not only apply to the physical femininity of women in the
role of wife but
also apply to the spiritual femininity of the Church in her role
as the bride
of Christ.
Proverbs 31:10-31 An excellent
wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband
trusts in her, and
he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all
the days of
her life. She looks for wool and flax and works with her hands
in delight. She
is like merchant ships; she brings her food from afar. She rises
also while it
is still night and gives food to her household and portions to
her maidens. She
rises also while it is still night and gives food to her
household and portions
to her maidens. She girds herself with strength and makes her
arms strong. She
senses that her gain is good; her lamp does not go out at night.
She stretches
out her hands to the distaff, and her hands grasp the spindle.
She extends her
hand to the poor, And she stretches out her hands to the needy.
She is not
afraid of the snow for her household, for all her household are
clothed with
scarlet. She makes coverings for herself; her clothing is fine
linen and
purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among
the elders of the
land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and
supplies belts to
the tradesmen. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she
smiles at the
future. She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of
kindness is on her
tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household, and does
not eat the bread
of idleness. Her children rise up and bless her; her husband also,
and
he praises her, saying: "Many daughters have done
nobly, But you
excel them all." Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but
a
woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her the
product of her
hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.
The
original audience for this passage was the
nation of Israel. When we extrapolate meaning and application
from a passage
for the purpose of applying it to a modern audience, we must be
true to the
process. While these attributes were indeed desirable for a
spouse at that
time, we must question why these traits are admirable. Each and
every trait is
desirable because they are attributes of God’s character. In all
the history of mankind have you ever seen or known God to exalt
or honor characteristics that are not first and foremost His
own? The answer is
– no! So we must conclude that these are characteristics
of God. Each
attribute
described in Proverbs 31 aligns with a parallel use in reference
to
the personification of Wisdom throughout wisdom literature in
the OT. If these attributes are desirable in a bride because
they reflect the divine nature of God, then it stands to reason
that as the
Bride of Christ these are attributes Christ desires in us and
characteristics
that please Him.
So the question remains who are we attempting
to please? Do we
desire to please the world or is our desire to serve our Groom. Are we, the Church, prudent with
our finances, spending wisely on land, buildings, and
modifications? (Prov. 31:13-16) Are we reaching out to embrace,
feed, and clothe the poor and needy? (Prov. 31:20) Are we
vigilant? (Prov. 31:18) Do we focus on pleasing the masses, and
appealing to their senses or are we faithful to a genuine
respect and fear of the LORD? (Prov. 31:30) Do we make our
Groom's name known and respected to the world? (Prov. 31:23)
“Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks
nothing of value. She brings him good,
not harm all the days of her life.” Ideally this is a very
difficult role to
embrace. God trusts us? Why would He do such a thing? Is it even
theologically
sound to suggest that God would place His trust in something
outside of
Himself? This may be where we are permeated with skepticism and
doubt. Are we
outside of God, or are we truly grafted into His body and part
of Him extending
to the world? Now THAT is an overwhelming concept to ponder. God has pulled us into Himself, into His
family, and trusts us fully with His mission to the world. That
can certainly
hold water. But what of our handling of this task? Have we, as
Prov 31: 12
suggests, brought Him good, not harm, all the days of our life?
Conceptually,
yes; specifically, no. Because we exist today, we are an
attestation to the
life-giving power and endurance of God in the world; 2000 years
is nothing to
sneeze at. We have failed in some aspects because we are an
organism compiled
of imperfect and broken people. In a Kingdom economy a good wife and mother is the
Church. I am not suggesting some hidden
secrecy or foretelling prophecy, it is
an eternal principle of the intimate relationship between bride
and groom and
thereby a subsequent tool for defining the role of the Church in
her
relationship to Christ.We, the Church, are Christ's Bride and
True Mother to the lost and hurt in the world and grace emanates
from our very existence.
The scenarios I shared at the
beginning of this piece were not mere hyperbole. They were not
construed to evoke emotion or
manipulate your feelings. These are real
scenarios that I have observed and participated in. This was my
family and our
experiences in and with motherhood. The woman struggling
torridly through the
barren wasteland of infertility, the young
woman who found herself wrestling through the implications of
unplanned
pregnancy, the young man fearful
of cultural and societal impressions and expectations, the woman
picking up the pieces of a
broken marriage, and the aging woman’s
realization of a season ending - these are our stories. These
stories are common within the Church and often overlooked and
the Church does not fulfill her role as mother to this very real
pain and sorrow in her midst. This Mother's Day I challenge you
to question what "mother" means to you and ask the question,
"Are we emulating brokenness in our expression of this role in
the Church or are we adapting the divine image of Mother lain
out for us in Scripture?" This Mother's Day, whether you are a physical
mother or not, remember that we are all a part of the body of
Christ and therefore Bride and Mother with implications much
greater and longer lasting than any role we will have in this
life. We are Mother.
